Bad Days
Had a really bad day yesterday. All I wanted was for the ground to open so I could just crawl in and die.
I don’t know how people do it – living with constant pain is not easy. I am done asking myself: “Why me?” I am done trying to over analyze how this has happened. And mostly I am done blaming myself for letting this happen to me.
I just have to find a way to make it better – to make me better.
I eat right, try and eliminate absolutely anything and everything that triggers my body. I know the consequences of eating things that inflame my body. I wake up in the morning and promise myself that today is going to be a good day… and then I try and get out of bed and I struggle to stand.
I drink tons of fresh ginger and honey in water during the day and have mostly eliminated coffee (except for the cup I have in the morning with my collagen powder – no sugar – no creamer). I maybe have a soda once a month sometimes not. But still, I don’t know anymore.
Yesterday I could understand how people can give up, it’s so very easy to do that. But the truth is that’s not me. I think – no – I hope. But I can understand how easy it is.
Trying to walk normally, trying to pick up Noodle and she weighs less than 7lbs but my wrists can’t hold her. I can understand how easy it is.
But I can’t give up my desire to be normal again. I have to fight this. With everything I have. I simply have to get better.
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Contact Me